God's Plan

So basically, where I stand is....good question. Where do I stand? I believe the answer to my own question is wherever I want to stand. It's up to me to make the decisions on my own and hope for the best. I can't please everyone. Apparently, I also can't please anyone. I used to be able to, but nowadays I seem to inflict pain to everyone around me. I beat myself up for it just like I always have. I discipline myself because I deserve to be disciplined. Nobody has really done that for me except my mother and she did it for good reason. Without discipline, I'd be going off hurting everyone and not giving a damn about it. I wouldn't be realizing the damage I've caused and bothering to fix it. No, I'm not an evil sadistic person. I am a jerk but I can at least account for my own faults and not point the finger at others. It's just a horrible feeling though to hurt people that you love. I've lost so many people because of my stupid mistakes and I'm hoping that I can still have the people who mean a lot to me right now in the future. I'm tired of "friend-hopping" everywhere, I want people who can accept me for who I am and love me. I do have those friends now and heck, Pep Band gave me some more. Finally, I can give back and become a good friend to those who would like me to be. I need to do things the right way and become more selfless than selfish. I also know who can help me become this better person: God. Yeah, I've always believed that God will lead me in the right direction because He's there for me all the time. I pray every single day and thank God for everything he's done for me in my life. Although I've had my struggles, I'm still here standing tall (seriously, since everyone's so short...) and living my life the way I should be living it. It's time for some serious changes that I can stick with. I'm also glad I've left behind all of the unnecessary distractions that have kept me from making my change. Of course, this is going to be a long and tedious process. I'll just see who's willing to stick by me while I do all this. God already agreed to be with me. Who's coming onboard with us? We're more than happy to welcome aboard those who have a strong sense of faith and hope as well as positive energy. :)