Who's To Blame

I figure nobody ever reads this shit so why bother writing. Oh right, because I can and I will. I've been having some rough times lately and getting through them is such a struggle right now because I feel as if I'm not ready. I'll know when I'm ready by the time things start to become clearer. I had a talk recently with a few people about my insecurities and have come to realize that I need to start bucking up and just getting the job done. I can't keep doubting myself all the time because there really is no one to blame. Recently, I've been getting a ton of music thrown in my face and having to learn all of this is very gratifying. So why am I complaining? I don't want to let people down. All my life, eyes have been on me to succeed and the times I've failed I've let people down. This is the worst feeling in the world until I came to a realization that in order TO succeed, you gotta FAIL many times. I can't begin to count how many times I've failed in life but life is a test and every decision you make affects future decisions that you will encounter. I've learned this the hard way and honestly, it's fun to make mistakes. It's good to know how to be a strong problem-solver because some of us really need to learn this. I never point fingers at people and I probably never will. Do I hold grudges? One may think I do but honestly, it's not that I hate people, I just don't bother to keep in touch with people who have hurt me in the past. I'm the type of person that anyone can get along with yet sets boundaries now. THIS I've learned to do recently and it's helped improve a few of my friendships. I think I've got this down. Let's just see how I progress.

Welcome to the Jungle

Except I don't have fun and games. Well I lied, I do. My apartment keeps me company because I have plenty to do around here. I'm loving every minute I spend in here whether it's by myself or with people over. It's also nice to have others come over rather than haul ass and waste gas. Besides, everyone lives no more than 15 minutes away from me now, talk about a drastic change from Ashburn! After one long week spent in my apartment, the feeling of being on my own really hit me when I got my first few bills and realized I still owe over 600 bucks for my tuition because I'm doing 18 credits this semester. Because of this revelation, I've decided to really get my butt in gear and start learning to play about 20-25 different tunes. I've talked to Christine and we're gonna be doing gigs together because we both need money badly and we're good enough to do them. Honestly, I'm very excited to finally be playing on stage as I've waited for such a long time. Sure this is local, but you have to start somewhere. What better place to start than home. I'm excited about where my life is going right now and I'm hoping that it can stay on this positive road without taking wrong turns. Now wrong turns are inevitable so it's time to learn about being prepared to deal with them. Oh, I taught a new student today too. He's a nice 11 year old kid with a lot of spirit and knowledge of music. He already plays violin and piano. Ha, sounds like a young me. Anyways, he makes three students now on the weekends. Call me up people! I need some more youngblood. Because I'm so busy these days, I'm barely going to be updating my blog so until whenever I see you next, you pesky blog, peace out. Oh, and Mason lost to VCU 76-71. Talk about a heartbreaker. I'll see you fucks next year when we crush your ass. Just wait until we have JV back and YOU don't have Maynor. Fuckers.

I've, become so numb...

..from all this packing! I can't believe in just less than a day I will be moved into my very own apartment. The time has finally come for me to be out on my own at least for a few months before deciding on what to do in terms of living next year. Almost everything is packed up except for my dirty laundry, bedsheets, kitchen stuff and furniture. I'll be getting all of that organized and put in the cars later on. So you may wonder why am I still up...well I just spent the past few hours finishing up my notation of "Numb" by Linkin Park. Christine and I want to play that song for our shows so I figured I'd take the liberties in my own hand and arrange the tune for us. Just piano/vocals. Or I might decide to play the song on my guitar, who knows. So once I'm settled in my apartment, I will plug in the notation on my MIDI controller and have sheet music for us! Oh the wonders of Garageband and how much it puts me at ease.....well once I figure out all the features anyways. So not much else to report. I just watched some YouTube videos as well and got some ideas for songs me and Christine can do. Looks like I'm going into the field of arranging rather than composing. I'd figure you still get money arranging and it helps to develop the ears! Plus, I'm not that creative yet to compose. It'll come in time I'm sure. Now I guess I'm off to sleep....or text Heather. Or sleep. Or I dunno, she keeps texting me. Fine! I'll sleep. Goodnight.

I Stay Fly

Gotta stay fly, til I die. Heh, don't ask where all that came from. These past few days have been a bit quiet and peaceful for me as I'm preparing to gracefully make my exit in two days. I've also been preparing to make my apartment a place for everyone to come and visit and relax. I've had some problems dealing with who are my real friends and who just wanted to talk once and leave me alone. Honestly, it shouldn't bother me as I should continue to be an open person and change some things about myself. Hey, it helps that classes are cancelled on Inauguration Day. This means one more day to relax on Mason's already long-ass break! Maybe I can invite some people over and have a little party...for the Inauguration? Really? Yeah, maybe. Not much else to report on. Family is great, Jessica is good, music is going well, waiting for school to start. I bought another book to read so that should pass the time, as well as arranging some Linkin Park tunes for me and Christine. Hopefully the next time I write a post, it'll be in my place with my own internet! Be prepared for pics to be online after I'm moved in! 

The Final Countdown

The countdown begins. T minus 8 days remain until Gary makes his exit from Ashburn and entrance into Fairfax. My lease consultant called me before work today and gave me the thumbs up on my application to rent the apartment. Move-in day is January 15th and I'm pretty excited/nervous. Basically, I have to set up a financial budget once I move in to make sure my expenses are covered and adequate amounts of money are coming in/not being spent. Thank goodness my mom has taught me well and I've learned what I have to do when it comes to keeping track of everything. The lease will be for four months, enough time for me to stay there for the entire spring semester and spend less time commuting ridiculous hours. I will also have to find another job while I'm there since Brambleton is too far of a drive from Fairfax. Looks like the music store will only be a weekend job now until I return home for the summer. Well, honestly, since I'm coming back home, I really shouldn't quit my job at A&A Music. It's very reliable and although the drive will be a bit longer, I can still make decent money there. Who knows, I'll have my final decision in a few weeks. Either way, I better start advertising for teaching lessons around the area like crazy. If you see my flyers, make sure to say good things about me! So I'll have more news later on. Go Mason basketball! Y'all are too good....

Smartbomb

I think I need a new hobby. It seems that I live, eat and breathe music. Perhaps I should indulge into something new.....like gambling, or exercising. Oh, I need to do that by the way. I shall go tomorrow with Christine and do that since she asked me. I'll figure something out. For now, it's just nice to know that finally people are opening up to me. I'm really not that scary, people! It just might take some people a bit of time to warm up to me before they get comfortable. Most of the time, I think it's my brutal honesty that makes me intimidating. Sorry if you can't handle the truth! If you ask for my honest opinion, I will tell you. Now with getting a place, I will finally see everyone more often, which means get ready to see my mediocre face! Speaking of place, yes the apartment is coming. Give me about 2-3 weeks and I'll be moved in to AN apartment. Which one? Where at? That I do not now yet. I'm still looking at where is the cheapest/most logical place to live at. My place will be nice though so I'll be inviting people in small increments to hang out/check it out for sure! Get ready people, y'all will be in the most cleanest/comfiest apartment ever, haha!