Who's To Blame

I figure nobody ever reads this shit so why bother writing. Oh right, because I can and I will. I've been having some rough times lately and getting through them is such a struggle right now because I feel as if I'm not ready. I'll know when I'm ready by the time things start to become clearer. I had a talk recently with a few people about my insecurities and have come to realize that I need to start bucking up and just getting the job done. I can't keep doubting myself all the time because there really is no one to blame. Recently, I've been getting a ton of music thrown in my face and having to learn all of this is very gratifying. So why am I complaining? I don't want to let people down. All my life, eyes have been on me to succeed and the times I've failed I've let people down. This is the worst feeling in the world until I came to a realization that in order TO succeed, you gotta FAIL many times. I can't begin to count how many times I've failed in life but life is a test and every decision you make affects future decisions that you will encounter. I've learned this the hard way and honestly, it's fun to make mistakes. It's good to know how to be a strong problem-solver because some of us really need to learn this. I never point fingers at people and I probably never will. Do I hold grudges? One may think I do but honestly, it's not that I hate people, I just don't bother to keep in touch with people who have hurt me in the past. I'm the type of person that anyone can get along with yet sets boundaries now. THIS I've learned to do recently and it's helped improve a few of my friendships. I think I've got this down. Let's just see how I progress.